The small victories

Anxiety sucks. It’s an unpredictable and irrational monster that’s always lurking around in the background, even when you think you’ve finally conquered it and can move on with yourself.

I’ve been struggling with anxiety since last fall, and the struggle has reached a new level within the past month. I’ve had to be more conscious of my thoughts and emotions and be proactive in restraining the anxiety from escalating to an unmanageable level. I’m still adjusting to this battle, as I’ve never suffered with anxiety to this degree before, and am learning to accept that it’s not going to resolve itself in an instant.

I cherish the days, such as today, when I can get by without a moment of anxiety and even come across some high points. Considering how unstable my anxiety levels have been in the past month, those types of days are always a big deal for me. I did have a tumble with anxiety by the end of the day, and became frustrated with how irrational the trigger was and not fully understanding why I was upset by it. I managed to get myself out of that moment, and find a way to settle down for the night. It wasn’t a perfect day, but any little victory against anxiety is always appreciated.

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